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Infamous Impostor

Color-blind people are as good as blind. Even though they possess the ability to see, they still can't perceive the most important factor that makes a person capable of seeing: color. At least blind people have enough decency not to pretend to be sighted.


In other words: you're either blind, or you are blessed and you can SEE. We are certainly all full of shit, only, color-blind people at the head of this shit pyramide. Убейтесь (puke).

@темы: EW 101, just a thought


Infamous Impostor
Program For Torture Victims' First Human Dignity Awards Dinner

@темы: DM, EW 101, coming someday


Without further ado

Infamous Impostor
Dima is here. :)

@темы: DM, HDA, and so it is


Infamous Impostor

It seems to me that the most important and life-changing moments in my life are destined to be killing me with suspense: thousands of miles apart... just a phone call away.


P.S. uh, the irony of the timestamp...

@темы: just a thought, delusion of possession, and so it is, HDA, EW 101, DM, C'est la vie


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Infamous Impostor

"Lumen said I gave her her life back, a reversal of my usual role. Well, the fact is, she gave me mine back too. And I'm left not with what she took from me, but with what she brought. Eyes that saw me, finally, for who I really am. And this certainty. That nothing, nothing is set in stone. Not even darkness. While she was here, she made me think, for the briefest moment, that I might even have a chance to be human. But wishes, of course, are for children." ©


... and it made me realize that I should never draw hasty conclusions. It didn't work out, then again nothing ever is "set in stone".

@темы: EW 101, WW, delusion of possession, quotes


Infamous Impostor

@темы: Мысли вслух


Infamous Impostor

I tried writing about my new beginning in life, the one that I've been craving for for the past forever, but I can't do that. It's not me. I don't want to describe any of it.

I can only say that dreams and waiting for them to come true are far more intense and priceless, than experiencing them first hand after years of thinking you might never make it. It was nothing like I'd ever imagined. It wasn't special, or lifechanging or anything else: it was just the way it should have been. Even when I saw my family rushing towards us at the airport, as I'd started crying, I was crying for a whole different reason; for the same reason I'd spent my whole flight to Amsterdam with a handkerchief.

This is the only thing that is actually me - feel things, express emotions for all the wrong reasons. But hey, whatever makes me whole...


"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

So, I'll try to stay as quiet as possible, because otherwise I'll end up crying my heart out, and this is something I cannot afford right now.

@темы: C'est la vie, delusion of possession


Infamous Impostor
Welcome to LA.

@темы: and so it is, HDA


Infamous Impostor

That's all, Folks. I filled in all the blanks, and by that I mean I wrote [almost] every single "coming someday" entry, and I think my headache is [almost] gone. Now, all I have to do is enjoy as much as I can those couple of days left with my dear friends and my loved one.


I'm leaving Tbilisi, Georgia this Saturday at 6 am. A couple of years ago at the International House, my teacher asked the class a question: "If you ever leave your country for good, what will you miss most?" Needless to say, the answer had to be out of the box and insightful. The only thing I could think of was my father's and my grandfather's graves, because, honestly, there wasn't a single thing, a memory or a person I would miss for the world. All I wanted was to get as soon and as far away from this shit-hole as possible, and there was nothing in the entire world that could ever change that.

Years went by in a blink of an eye and here I am... my whole world torn inside out. I have it all now: people who are dear to my soul; priceless memories, different from the ones that have been haunting me from almost the very beginning of my life; things that represent those people and all those memories attached to them. All of it makes my present answer to the question mediocre, but I couldn't care less. It gave my life a greater meaning; it changed its purpose and that's what really matters. I'm going to miss you, all of you, but mostly I'm going to miss us. And don't you people dare disappear from my life!

I know you know this, but I'm going to say this anyway - I love you, guys and I really mean it. For what it's worth, we still have our whole lives ahead of us, so trust me when I say it's not the end, but merely a "to be continued"...

@темы: and so it is, HDA, EW 101, C'est la vie, quotes, just a thought, delusion of possession, coming someday


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Infamous Impostor
Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра


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Infamous Impostor
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Infamous Impostor



D invited the three of us over to his place. He was supposed to cook dinner, but his household wouldn't let him. I let this one slide, though.))) We drank a lot of wine, and there I was sitting, surrounded with people I care most, and it hit me: the pain, the fear, all of the emotions I didn't think I would have to experience. So I cried my soul out. In a baby voice, muffled with sobbing I said "Я буду скучать", and I will, and no words can ever explain how hard this is going to be for me; for us. Jane and I cried: we drank to bending the rules of Life, and breaking the stereotypes, saying that in the end it's all up to us: we are in charge of where Life takes us, and these thousands of miles don't have to change what we all have. And I do believe that with all the fibers of my entire being.

I love you guys, and I will always love you no matter what, because this special bond that we have is something that can never be erased. And, as long as for some reason (I honestly can't think of one) we don't erase it ourselves, we shall remain friends forever. I can say the same thing about D and me taking to consideration both friendship and romance parts. I will never forget how he kissed away every single tear in my eyes and on my cheeks...


At the risk of sounding cheesy and tacky, I'm going to end this entry by saying once again that I love you. I love you with all the essence of my being. I never thought I could ever say these words and actually mean them. I'm a different person now, and it's all because of you. I can never thank Life enough for having you all in my life.



@настроение: sad

@темы: coming someday, and so it is, HDA, EW 101, DM, Coming soon!, C'est la vie


Infamous Impostor

"If everybody lies, then trust is not only unfounded and pointless, it's fictional. But trust is not an argument that can be won or lost. Maybe I just have to suspend my cynicism and believe. Maybe it's time I took a leap of faith: I'm sorry. I won't lie to you again." ©


And that was a lie, although not a complete one. Having said that he lied. And so do I...

@музыка: Jude - I Know

@настроение: tired

@темы: quotes, EW 101, delusion of possession, WW


Infamous Impostor

Here I am with an update. Well, with a brief update:


Art Box night out. The four of us. Jane and Sabik had a romantic dinner reservation at some fancy French restaurant afterwards. The most exciting thing about the day was G's official advent. It was almost like the Coming of Christ. I don't know what had gotten into him that he actually decided to show up, and frankly, I don't care. The important thing is, he came and I was absolutely thrilled to see him. So the cat's out of the bag, and that made G a living, breathing celebrity among those who've seen him as my imaginary friend.


D and G immediately hit it off, and I liked that. As for D, for once G was really happy for me. After everything I've told him about my other, I'm not even comfortable saying this, relationships - he too thinks what I have with D is something special; something unique.


I love him. I love D. He turned out to be not a perfect man for every woman on planet Earth, but the perfect man for me; perfect in every single way there is to it.

@настроение: =)

@темы: delusion of possession, coming someday, and so it is, DM, C'est la vie, EW 101, HDA


Infamous Impostor
Birthday of a lifetime. 24 people; people I was really glad to see; people who've played a significant role in my life for the past breaking point year. I'm not going to write about it, because every single part of it (the ones that I actually remember, being totally drunk and all) will stay in my memory forever. Fortunately, Alzheimer's doesn't run in my family. :)

@музыка: The Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup

@настроение: happy

@темы: EW 101, HDA, MHP, and so it is



Infamous Impostor
Переходный год между моими самыми ожидаемыми годами - 21 и 23. Я уже успела убить частичку своей жизни - айпод, поплакать, поразмышлять о жизни, ещё поплакать. Надеюсь это последние слезы и смерть айпода в этом году моей жизни.

@темы: delusion of possession, and so it is, EW 101, C'est la vie


Infamous Impostor

Last night we met a group of young people from all over Europe, who were backpacking here, in Tbilisi. We had a small chat with them about living fast and dying young.

I'm not going to write about it, but I just wanted to immortalize that encounter in my diary, because it carries colossal significance to me... to us.

@музыка: Afterlife - Sunrise

@темы: DM, EW 101, HDA, and so it is, delusion of possession


Infamous Impostor
Fin.))) D - :bigkiss:

@настроение: tired

@темы: DM, EW 101, HDA, and so it is


Infamous Impostor
The three Ls are almost like the three Rs, only better. Way better...

@настроение: happy

@темы: just a thought

cognitive dissonance