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Записи с темой: c'est la vie (список заголовков)
15:05 

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23:45 

Infamous Impostor

I wrote a long entry about my past and my present, and I don't think I'll post it. Ever. It seems to me that none of it matters anymore, although it should. I can only say that no one should ever give up their dreams and settle for something smaller just for the hell of it, even if the situation is most likely to be doomed. There are so many things in life worth living for; worth waiting for; worth going through a living hell, because in the end you start appreciating things even more! I don't know if I should mention it, but I wanted this to happen so badly, and it hurt so much, that one day my heart just stopped. Literally. I'll never forget that night, and I'll never forget "My blueberry nights", because it made me feel the gamut of wonders this life is filled with, and the fact that I wasn't a part of it, and most likely wasn't going to be, it broke me. I remember writing a letter to my mom, and then it all went dark. I heard my mom's voice telling me that it would eventually turn around and although my faith in life was broken, hope brought me back to life. And hope is the most tricky and deadly thing to continue living with.

I wanted to leave this place, so I could finally be whoever I wanted to be. As of now, I'll be leaving this place to be no one but myself. And I think this is the greatest reward one can get. I don't know, I cannot wrap my head around it yet... So, here it goes: Меньше, чем через полгода я уезжаю в США. Hah, still doesn't sound believable enough), but it's true! It really is both a giant leap and a small step for me and family. Surely, we've come so far, but we still have got so far to go. It means that this is probably my last summer here, with my friends (well, for at least a very long time); it means that I'll be listening to THE song on a plane, knowing that I made; it means that soon enough I'll be caught up in dilemmas like trying to decide whether I should paint my room blue or red; it means that I'll have a life-time of anniversaries, because 18th of June has been made an unofficial holiday; it means that the four letter word that I was so desperately striving for, is no longer a blurry dot somewhere on a horizon, and, most importantly it means that I can put my life off stand by and start living it like there's no tomorrow. It's all up to me now and I'm thrilled about the thought that soon enough I'll be able to say "The world is my oyster".

 

You know, whenever somebody was leaving, somebody important, I always got that image in my head from Aladdin cartoon, the one where Genie is about to leave. I felt all the sadness in the world like Aladdin did when he heard him saying "...посмотрю на мир.."(. Right now I feel like both of them, and it makes me sad, because Aladdin represents not only me, but my friends whom I'll cherish for the rest of my being no matter what, because if it weren't for them... I dunno, I just have so much love for all of you). Sure, I'll make friends there, but I really mean it when I say this: none of them will ever replace you, because together we've gone through so much that nothing and no one will ever live up to what we have.

 

"I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free!" © Genie

 

And I am... I am finally free! :)

 

 


@музыка: John Travolta & Nikki Blonsky - Welcome to the 60's

@настроение: live love life

@темы: C'est la vie, HDA, and so it is, quotes

03:33 

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02:42 

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02:26 

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05:09 

Infamous Impostor
It's 5 AM. I need to go to sleep, but instead I keep watching all these videos. I can only say that some of them are absolutely heart-breaking...

@музыка: Queen - These Are the Days of Our Lives

@настроение: sad

@темы: C'est la vie

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00:21 

Infamous Impostor

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. I guess, it's a good thing that Life gave us time to realize that before it was too late. I was always scared that I wouldn't get a change to tell her everything that had been on my mind, but I did and it's behind us now. Obviously, past cannot be changed, and I'll never be the person I could've become, but it doesn't matter, because there's always future that never fails to change everything. So, Happy Birthday, Mom. I really hope I see you someday soon.

P.S. I ought to say that this world is full of amazing people around us, strangers even. I'm really glad that the more I live, the more evidence supporting this fact I obtain. It makes me appreciate Life even more, and maybe someday I'll even say "I Love the Life I Live". As of now, I'm just happy I'm alive. :) Aren't we all?)


@настроение: =)

@темы: and so it is, HDA, DM, C'est la vie

23:13 

Infamous Impostor

23:13 Simply perfect =)))

 

Итак поехали. Лисье озеро:

 

Стоит выбраться куда-то с Левкой, заблудиться, или просто застрять где-то in the middle of nowhere (or is is now_here :eyebrow: ) ... Как я себя заебала своими оффтопиками, кто бы знал. Anyway, как из ниоткуда обязательно появится какой-нибудь благодетель(ница) to rescue our sorry asses. The funny thing is that these people are both loaded and virtuous, which is something you don't see often these days. This time it was an old man, listening to some awesome French lounge music, driving a Mercedes, that offered us to hitch a ride. I don't know, if you ask me, these things are tiny teeny miracles that don't happen everyday. At least this is how I see it :) Что касается непосредственно самого мини похода, то очень порадовали добрые и благосклонные кентавры, что тоже из области фантастики и метафизики. Да, и конечно же: скажи кто-нибудь Агате Кристи о том, что много лет спустя кто-нибудь сумеет переплюнуть её гениальное произведение "10 негретят", то она бы рассмеялась в лицо, но сегодня увы, она вращалась в своём гробу иже на вертеле, подгоняемая призраками 20 негретянок с волшебным зельем. *о хоспади ©* :lol: Я не могу эту запись писать... :lol: НЕ_МО_ГУ!

 

Ладно, могу могу. Далее было празднование официального дня рождения Жени у Ванички в баре, где все придавались воспоминаниям о неофициальном дне рождения. (chuckle) It really was very *um, how do I put it the right way?* ironic and ambivalent of me, to write an entry, stating that I don't need to drink to get crazy and then the very next day to go to the bar to get drunk :gigi: *Uhhh, what a crazy world of my own I'm living in.* The second most ironic thing was that alcohol didn't work on me! Not even close, although we drank (well, I was practically forced to) some pretty darn deadly stuff on a pretty much empty stomach. Not even close! What the fuck, may I ask? Мистика, мистика... Очень порадовала гениальная фраза, я бы даже сказала, эстонская народная мудрость, которая глянула на тбилисскую, и молвила "Каждый сходит с ума по-своему". So simple, so true and the best thing is, she wasn't talking about me! *smug as hell, coz looks like I was more or less adequate today* All in all, it truly was a great day. An incredibly meaningful day, I must add. Symbolic too, in a way, but I say we go ahead and skip that part of the story ;)

 

Another interesting thing (among all those theories about choices, quantum physics and Schrödinger's cat), was the Lighter allegory. It has at least two very important points. And last, but not least: we just need to learn to appreciate Life's helluva sense of humor :)


@настроение: =)

@темы: and so it is, WW, MHP, HDA, EW 101, DM, C'est la vie, quotes

01:49 

Infamous Impostor

Мда =) Хы) Ну я даж не знаю с чего начать. :shy: I don't how and why, but I found myself literally shining with my smile, and radiating so much happiness, that people were staring at me like crazy: some were smiling too, others looked venomous and probably wished me dead. People probably think I'm an idiot, hell, I think I'm an idiot too, but I know better...or do I? © :tease2:Anyway, when I got to Oleg's place for the second time, I bumped into D, other D, and I don't remember her name, but I used to work with her long time ago. God, was I ecstatic to see 'em?))) I just jumped out of the minibus and ran screaming at them :lol: And that was just the beginning...

So, Sabik, Oleg and I went to the movies to see "Clash of the Titans": a complete spur of the moment decision. I honestly slept through some parts of the movie, but the ones I did see weren't as shitty as I'd expected. Somewhere in the middle of the movie *so help me God*, and I honestly have no idea WHY, I felt so...um....I embarrassed to say. Anyway :lol: I can just put the blame on my another major inadequacy attack. Bottom line is, the movie didn't suck. It was okay, and 3d experience in Rustaveli - way, WAY BETTER.

Вооооот... А после фильма, меня прорвало...I turned on my iPod that I'd stuffed with Oldies music, turned the volume up...Well, let's just say that I danced my whole way from the cinema up to Elbaqidze, jumping and singing and articulating :lol:...and EMBARRASSING THE HELL OUT OF MY DEAR FRIENDS *please don't hate me...much*, so that at some point they decided to ditch me, and hid behind the car, but I found them anyway, and carried on jumpling and singing YMCA, dancing on that skater's scene thingy in front of Radisson Hotel. Anyway, it was a total blast. My point being, I don't need to drink to go crazy and have big time fun, and so I did. And I'll do it again, because I think that people should enjoy the little things more often. Life is too short and full of shit, so might as well listen to some funky music and enjoy the beat. So what if people might see you as a total nut job. Nut job, or not, I was happy, as for the rest - it doesn't matter at all. :)


@музыка: Barry White - It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me

@настроение: =)

@темы: C'est la vie, DM, EW 101, Motion Picture, delusion of possession, just a thought

20:09 

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23:10 

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03:09 

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03:43 

"I'm sorry I needed you."

Infamous Impostor

(succession is preserved)

C: What do you have in your life, honestly? Tell me. I'm moving on. Wilson is moving on. And you...You've got nothing, House. Nothing.


- I almost died.
- But you saved your leg.
- I wish I hadn't. They cut out a chunk of muscle about the size of my fist, and they left me with this mutilated, useless thing. I'm in pain...every day. It changed me. Made me a harder person, a worse person. And now... Now I'm alone.


and yet...

C: I'm stuck, House. I keep wanting to move forward. I keep wanting to move on, and I can't. I mean, my new house, with my new fiancé, and all I can think about is you... I just need to know if you and I can work.
H: You think I can fix myself?
C: I don't know.
H: 'Cause I'm the most screwed-up person in the world.
C: I know. I love you. I wish I didn't, but I can't help it.



For me, this was the most intense, memorable and deeply unpredictable episode; this and the one about the rape victim. I'll never be able to get these two episodes out of my mind, they'll be engraved in my memory forever. I can't really express all of the emotions I'm experiencing now, but I'm writing these lines and silent tears are coming down my cheeks. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we've been waiting for this moment for almost 6 years and it finally came. Doesn't make me any less sad, though). I could really relate to House in a way, and now it's over. Even he turned out to be fine, in fact, he came closer to being fine than any other screwed up person ever will. I want that too... I've got my whole life ahead of me, though, don't I? And yes, I'm so egocentric, I even made this episode about me.))) Oh well), it's just the way it is.


@настроение: =\

@темы: quotes, WW, Obsession, MHP, C'est la vie

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01:14 

Infamous Impostor

Elvis. Fun! Banana milkshake - yuuum! I can honestly cell my soul for the damn thing))). Poor waiter. LeOff - you're officially on my hate list.

Vanya's bar fun, up until around 11 pm, when I got the call. I don't know, I must be devastated, and probably I am too, but it's not showing. Then again, I tend to have a delayed response on things that actually concern me. =)

There's something else I'd like to add to this entry, but my head is killing me, so I'll take a rain check on the latter.

 

p.s. once again the day tongue was saved, thanks to the powerpuff girls changed circumstances. (chuckle)


@настроение: the mood is okay, but my state not so much

@темы: EW 101, DM, C'est la vie, HDA, and so it is, Игра слов

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04:56 

Infamous Impostor

- Шашки, шашки! А ты играешь партию Каспарова 19-нного года. ©


Шашки хорошие тем, что играются легко, непринужденно, а главное быстро: не успел закончить партию, как можно приступать за следущую. А вот шахматы... В шахматах ты смакуешь каждый ход; в шахматах архи-важна стратегия, и одну и ту же игру можно играть бесконечно, не задумываясь о победе. Последнее, конечно зависит от того кто играет, и с кем играть... А ведь бывает как в оскароносном мультфильме "Geris Game": играешь на самом то деле сам с собой, но удовольствия от этого не меньше, потому что твой противник непредсказуем и опасен, и вот тут же победа играет далеко не последнюю роль.

 

- О хоспади, какие к черту шашки и шахматы! Это же жизнь, которую надо проживать, а не играть в неё! - сказала я, и тут же добавила: мда, апогей лицемерия с моей стороны). Что за бред, какая к черту жизнь без игры!? Главное... Главное не забывать, что в жизни, в отличии от шахмат и шашек, ячейки не только черно-белые, и свободных ходов в ней гораздо больше.

 

А на самом то деле это ничто иное, как сематика. Всё бессмысленно, глупо, и просто... А вот это уже была грязная ложь)

 

 

off-topic:

 

Open Air. 2 stages our of three. Having fun like crazy people. Mafia at Czar's place. So much for me planning on spending the day in my pjs, curled up in my bed, and guess what - I don't regret it at all. :)

 

 

 


@музыка: don't know why, but i've got "Bohemian Rhapsody" playing in my head

@настроение: =))

@темы: Мысли вслух, quotes, and so it is, WW, EW 101, DM, C'est la vie

00:31 

Infamous Impostor

- Why did you do that?

- Why not?

©



This episode is officially on my "I hate this episode to the very core" top list. Here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to rename it, and hide it somewhere deep in my file system and most importantly I'm going to keep on hating it with all the darkness of my soul forever and ever and ever!

WHY NOT! Would you listen to that?! WHY FUCKING NOT! How dare they film the hard on the target episode with the EXACT dialogue! Bloody bastards! You had no moral right to write this plot and put it into one of my tv shows! You had no fucking right! Clueless, callous assholes! I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME? I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!


@настроение: :abuse: pissed off!

@темы: EW 101, C'est la vie, quotes

22:03 

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00:05 

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04:12 

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16:06 

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