Infamous Impostor
Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be

Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by
you no matter what . . . .
. . . . [But] there's [also] the chance that the one person
you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes
better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing
beside you all along.

That was one tacky but meaningful bottom line from one stupid movie. My mom asked me to watch with her, and, despite my inner objections, I cooperated. I had not anticipated that it would make me utterly sad, but it did.
How can you go on after realizing that what you had believed in turned out to be one of the greatest disappointments in your life? How can you get over the fact that those bonds you believed to be unbreakable and indecomposable turned to ash and nobody else but you cares about it? Should you care when they do not? Should you do something because they
(most likely?) will not? Were those bonds as strong as you perceived them to be to begin with? Can you ever make bonds this special and expect them to last forever?
I do not know the answers. All I know is, starting out as an exigent person when it comes to relationships of any kind is hard enough. But, being lucky
(?) enough in finding those people and then having lost all that is simply unbearable. Experiencing that during the major change in your life does not help, either. It becomes even more unbearable when realize you are the only one to feel that way.
Wish I could be more like them and say fuck it, turn off the "care" switch, but I would be fooling myself. I care. I care way too much. I have made absolutely no emotional headway in the past couple of months. I hope, eventually, time will make it all seem meaningless.

@настроение: devastated

@темы: C'est la vie, quotes


cognitive dissonance